She’s killing me! While she may not be holding a knife to your throat (well let’s hope not), it is well researched that chronically sad, frustrated or fearful people tend to be chronically unwell and live less long. So it makes sense that if your relationship is fraught with difficult emotions it could be affecting your health.
Emotions linked with specific health problems. A recent New York Times article links your fighting style with certain body ailments.”How Your Fight With Your Spouse May Affect Different Body Parts.” Over decades couples were observed while they rehashed contentious issues. They then correlated emotional facial expressions with health questionnaires and found that certain emotions lead to certain body ailments. Partners that were overtly angry during the discussions reported cardiac issues (chest pain, high blood pressure) while the stonewallers reported neck and back pain.
Take a break from fighting. If during a fight you are starting to feel extreme physical symptoms it may be a sign to pause the discussion (not end, just pause). If it’s possible and even though the issue might not be resolved, make a plan to do something you both enjoy and that helps you each feel good. Perhaps even something that would address your physical symptoms. I’m sure the issue(s) will be there when you return, and your body will thank you.