According to the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, divorce is the most stressful event other than death of a loved one. To get a sense of the scale:
#4 Jail term
#9 Marriage reconciliation
#13 Sex difficulties
#30 Trouble with your boss
The scale says nothing about the outcome of divorce, which for children and second marriages can be positive. And, while statistics for divorces in second marriages are higher than first marriages, 67% vs. 50%, there are plenty of people that have great relationships the second time around.
The focus in marriage reconciliation or divorcing is the same. You are a part of the pattern. You have to figure out what happened, and how you were causal in your unhappy couple. The stress will be there whether you divorce, do marriage therapy, psychotherapy, or pursue any path of change. You will get through the stress, but get through it with insights into yourself. Self knowledge is the prize. It will insure a different marriage in this relationship or the next.