Under duress do you like to escape into your man or lady cave? Just to get away from…you know who. In emotionally focused therapy we might call la-la land a withdrawing, distancing or avoidant attachment strategy. Is going to la-la land healthy or unhealthy? Neither really, it’s usually a protective strategy that can sometimes work beautifully and sometimes reek communication havoc.
Jane: “Dear, you look stressed.”
Jack: “Yeah, I’m doomed with all my work pressure.”
Jane: “Let’s talk about it, tell me more about the stress.”
Jack: “Nah, lets go watch a sexy artsy film so I can forget about it.”
At this point Jane may just put her head on Jack’s shoulder and perhaps they do enjoy the movie, or she may feel irritated and shut out. The most important point here though is that we all have emotional strategies that aren’t right or wrong, it’s the awareness of if that strategy is working that’s key.