The big lies
Should I tell the truth in couples therapy? I’m building up the courage..actually never mind…Lately I was thinking about what keeps couples from being honest especially in therapy. Sometimes we hide truth from ourselves and are unconsciously dishonest, but sometimes we KNOW we need to talk about…that thing…but are scared. Before therapy couples will ask,
- “Should I tell her about the affair?”
- “What about sex?”
- “That one off drunken night?”
Should I tell her the truth?
The fear might actualy indicate that you don’t want lose your relationship and that’s a good place to start when telling her. It is really really really hard to show the parts that are most embarrassing and potentially deal breaking, but it might be better than living a partial marriage. If you want a marriage with all the good stuff, then consider dealing with the discomfort of the truth.
Speak up, here’s why
Research shows when lying some part of you will be uncomfortable about the deception. Or, a part of you will be occupied with the weight of what you’re not saying. When you come clean, you are bringing yourself more fully to the relationship, and eventually this will strengthen your marriage. Still don’t know how to tell her in couples therapy? Talk to the therapist individually, together make a plan for how to let the truth come out in the safest way possible.