PRACTICES THAT HELP YOU LAUGH MORE AND FIGHT LESS.
Individual and Couples Therapy
Whether therapy is something you do individually or as a couple, change is possible. Our brains are elastic, they are made to grow and rewire, no matter how ingrained your habits are.
Individuals come to psychotherapy for a variety of reasons ranging from social anxiety, work stress/pressure, unsatisfying relationships, trauma, and feelings of depression and worry.
The process of change is understood neurologically. So, we aren’t just diving in and hoping for the best. Instead, armed with brain research on neural patterning, we take deliberate steps to help get you where you want to go.
Humans are social beings, and our sense of self is created and defined through relationships. Therefore, it is in relationships where healing happens. In individual therapy, having a secure therapeutic relationship is the context where we get to the bottom of the stresses and difficulties you face. Creating secure connections between you and your current relationships as well as you and your past relationships are important. And we also look at the relationship you have with yourself and your many facets, to foster a secure connection with yourself.
Over the years I’ve worked with a lot of long-term complicated (ingrained, stuck, seemingly hopeless) problems with clients. I like to see clients walking out with resilience so that they can self-correct and have internalized new ways of being.
What happens in couples therapy?
First we understand what kinds of patterns form the way you are together. We process underlying emotions, thoughts and behaviors in such a way that you start to change the rigid interactions between you. Then in an experiential way, you start to restructure your relationship cycles and start experiencing new ways to understand, communicate and bond with each other. From here you can choose where the relationship should go, or talk about issues in a supported and effective way.
Emotions are the shortcut to change.
“Emotional attunement, accessibility and responsiveness – a willingness to engage emotionally with another – is the core element. Emotion is the music of the dance of love and without emotional engagement love dies. Emotional disconnection is THE issue in relationships; conflict is just the inflammation caused by distance and unresponsiveness.” – Sue Johnson from her book Love Sense.
Skills will be developed and insight developed, but it will come FROM the bonding and new corrective experiences, in that way the skills and experiences are SPECIFICALLY led and tailored to you.
How does couples therapy work?
There’s a beginning, middle and end to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. We follow a process, and while it’s not linear, it is a process we can all track!
- Consultation: one person in the couple calls me for a consultation and we find out if I am a good match for you and if I have the skills necessary to help.
- First session: You will come in together for a 75 minute couples therapy session where I start to understand what the problem is, we get to know each other, I continue to answer any questions, and we get to work on the relationship.
- Second and third session: You each come in for individual sessions.
- Fourth session and beyond: We come back together and talk about our plan/goals and a path to get there. We usually meet all together, but occasionally as needed I will meet with you individually. You start off by each talking to me, but as we progress and as you need me and therapy less you talk as a couple more.