Try mindfulness. Dr Ahmed Mohammed describes it as a free, non-invasive yet proven way to decrease anxiety and depression. Ok, so obviously he’s a fan of his research! A video following him around the research lab:
Mindfulness…the act of paying attention to our present moment without judging thoughts. Mindfulness…a technique that rests the mind through the act of attending. It doesn’t matter what we attend to (breath, body sensation, thoughts, emotion, prayer) but that we attend. Attending (Tara Bracht) as if you are listening to music – not trying to get to the end – but hearing from one moment to the next. Or attending as if you life depended on it (John Kabat-Zinn).
Couples can practice mindfulness through regular bodywork or taking a meditation or yoga class together. Here is something you can do when you see your partner next time, imagine you are seeing him/her for the first time. Lean in and listen with all you senses, attend to breathing, facial expressions, smell, tone of voice, touch, the emotions or thoughts beneath the surface, the words they say. If thoughts about what you want or want to avoid or control come up – let them pass – go back to attending.
One great resource we have in San Francisco is the UCSF Osher center. http://www.osher.ucsf.edu/classes-and-lectures/meditation-and-mindfulness/mindfulness-based-stress-reduction/