Blog | Shana Ree Gann

Put your weapons down

Can't we all just get along? Guns rights, military spending, a nation at war. We see and hear these things every day. The psychology underneath these political issues is interesting and very complicated. And, as a couples therapist, it boils down into something...

Not Enough Sex?

Sex Sex Sex! Sex is all over billboards movies and magazines. And it's more than superficially important. According to the Kinsey Institute, an unsatisfying sexual relationship is associated with more breakups. Are We Normal? Statistically speaking, married couples...

The second most stressful life event

Divorce According to the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, divorce is the most stressful event other than death of a loved one. To get a sense of the scale: #4 Jail term #7 Marriage #9 Marriage reconciliation #13 Sex difficulties #30 Trouble with your boss #42 Christmas...

Phoneymoon Phase

Is The Honeymoon Phony? The honeymoon typically lasts about 30 months. Researches speculate that during that time, couple have elevated Nerve Growth Factor (NGF). What does more NGF mean? All the typical stuff. Floating on air, lovey giggling madness...and lots of...

Embrace

I don't know what happened to me over the holidays! Holidays are notorious for family and food. And New Year's resolutions often include getting into shape or cleansing. The movie trailer from Embrace reminds how the intense pressure about looking a certain way can...

Love ain’t always pretty

Pretty love The bonds that tie us together aren’t always seen. I think that’s what makes this video so special. It shows the family’s emotional bonds. Visible, palpable and tear jerking. [video width="1280" height="720"...

I trust you

Wherever you are trust matters In a couple. In a family. At work. In the therapy room. Wherever you are it's the bedrock of a relationship. Karim Sulayman says it all in his "I trust you" video. [video width="1280" height="720"...

Do you have the 7 year itch?

Is the itch real? Research isn't consistent, and it's been called the 3, 7 10 and 12 year itch. Looking at the different studies a few significant things stand out. Early Marriage Years are the most vulnerable Most divorces happen within the first 7 years of marriage....

Mr. and Mrs. Loving

Loving v. Virginia. As post election processing continues and Thanksgiving week passes, I'm reflecting on what we have achieved in couples rights. Mr. and Mrs. Loving is the most recent movie about the landmark civil right decision, Loving v. Virginia. [video...

She terrifies me

I walked in, there were two women... A woman therapist and a mixed gender couple. Does the guy feel outnumbered? My husband says the experience is beyond words. So, extrapolating from his experience and many male clients over the years, I know that sometimes this...

Post-election hangover?

As Americans we are divided Many of us have been wandering around this week in a post election haze. Some have been protesting on the streets of San Francisco, and others think they've found a president that will hear their voices. However you voted, there's strong...

Here’s why couples should lie!

Pretty white lies Sometime lying might do you some good. Lying about the big stuff in a couple could prove fatal, but the little ones? We tell more white lies than you may think. Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Virginia found that most...

Couples therapy, the truth about lying

The big lies Should I tell the truth in couples therapy? I'm building up the courage..actually never mind...Lately I was thinking about what keeps couples from being honest especially in therapy. Sometimes we hide truth from ourselves and are unconsciously dishonest,...

I’ve married the wrong person…!?

What to do after marrying the wrong person? "Why you will marry the wrong person" was published in the New York times by Alan de Botton, and he gives us a quirky and intelligent answer. "We need to swap the Romantic view for a tragic (and at points comedic) awareness...

At least Buddy understands! (And doesn’t talk back.)

Won't anyone listen to me? Your dog might understand more than you think. An August 31 Washington Post Animalia article discusses a study about dogs and their ability to understand our communication. Dogs process both our tone and our words, and they do that using...

Addiction in your relationship

Azure Antoinette on Orlando

You’re a pain in my neck! (literally)

She's killing me! While she may not be holding a knife to your throat (well let's hope not), it is well researched that chronically sad, frustrated or fearful people tend to be chronically unwell and live less long. So it makes sense that if your relationship is...

Feel sad to feel better

I just watched an interview about Marianne Willamson's newest book, Tears to Triumph; the video here is shorter but gets right to point! Burying the sad leads to more sad later. We spend a lot of time avoiding bad feelings, but it won't necessarily make you...

Go away I mean come closer

"It's not hard to push a person away. The real work is to draw him close and uplift him."- Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (1772-1810) who is regarding as a Jewish mystic said this. And this is why we have Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy... Have you every caught yourself...