Individual Psychotherapy

Individuals come to psychotherapy for a variety of reasons ranging from social anxiety, work stress/pressure, unsatisfying relationships, trauma, and feelings of depression and worry.

The process of change is understood neurologically.  So, we aren’t just diving in and hoping for the best. Instead, armed with brain research on neural patterning, we take deliberate steps to help get you where you want to go.

Humans are social beings, and our sense of self is created and defined through  relationships. Therefore, it is in relationships where healing happens. In individual therapy, having a secure therapeutic relationship is the context where we get to the bottom of the stresses and difficulties you face. Creating secure connections between you and your current relationships as well as you and your past relationships are important.  And we also look at the relationship you have with yourself and your many facets, to foster a secure connection with yourself.

Over the years I’ve worked with a lot of long-term complicated (ingrained, stuck, seemingly hopeless) problems with clients.  I like to see clients walking out with resilience so that they can self-correct and have internalized new ways of being.

Couples Therapy

What happens in couples therapy?
First we understand what kinds of patterns form the way you are together.  We process underlying emotions, thoughts and behaviors in such a way that you start to change the rigid interactions between you.  Then in an experiential way, you start to restructure your relationship cycles and start experiencing new ways to understand, communicate and bond with each other. From here you can choose where the relationship should go, or talk about issues in a supported and effective way.

Emotions are the shortcut to change.
Skills will be developed and insight developed, but it will come FROM the bonding and new corrective experiences, in that way the skills and experiences are SPECIFICALLY led and tailored to you.

“Emotional attunement, accessibility and responsiveness – a willingness to engage emotionally with another – is the core element. Emotion is the music of the dance of love and without emotional engagement love dies. Emotional disconnection is THE issue in relationships; conflict is just the inflammation caused by distance and unresponsiveness.” – Sue Johnson from her book Love Sense.

How does couples therapy look?
There’s a beginning, middle and end to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.  We follow a process, and while it’s not linear, it is a process we can all track!

Consultation: one person or both people call me for a consultation. You tell me about what’s going on and I answer any questions you may have.

First session: You will come in together for a 75 minute couples therapy session where I start to understand what the issues are, we get to know each other, I continue to answer any questions, and we get to work on the relationship.

Second and third session: You each come in for individual sessions.

Feedback session: We come back together and talk about what needs to be done collectively and individually to help you reach your goals and a path to get there. We ask and answer questions such as: How do you both contribute to your disconnection and dissatisfaction? What drives your negative behaviors? Is my approach the right one for you? Do you feel you can successfully work with me? Do I feel that I can successfully work with you? Is therapy likely to succeed? What changes do you both need to make to improve your relationship? Do you want to commit to making these changes? Do you want to continue therapy? We decide together to continue, pause or stop therapy.

Fifth session and beyond: We usually meet all together, but occasionally as needed I will meet with you individually. You start off by each talking to me, but as we progress and as you need me and therapy less you talk as a couple more.

Sex Therapy

Sometimes a couple’s sexual connection automatically improves as the emotional connection gets stronger. But that isn’t always the case. Sometimes the sexual disconnection isn’t directly related to the emotional connection or needs to be understood and worked on from a different angle as well as the emotional one.

Sex therapy sessions don’t look any different than individual or couples therapy – we just talk about everything, yes anything sexual is fair game, any sexual terms, preferences, desires, fears, trauma, real and perceived problems and dysfunctions.