FAQ
What’s the definition of Couples Therapy? Relationship 1. (noun) The way in which things are connected or work or behave together.
Can couples counseling help us? Research-wise the percentages are good. There is a 70-75% recovery rate after 10-12 sessions. 90% of couples report significant improvement. There is now a substantial body of research – 30 years worth. Research has shown that the methodology of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) indeed works, EFT’s process of change has been validated and EFT therapists are trained to effectively intervene.
Are we too far gone for marriage counseling to work? In outcome studies, initial distress levels aren’t related to a positive outcome, It’s the ENGAGEMENT in the tasks of therapy that predict outcome.
How do we know when couples counseling is done? The short answer is you are done when your partner is a reliable source of security, comfort and protection…
How do I bring up the hard stuff in couples therapy? (without hurting him/her) This can be tricky because sometime it’s a relief for both when the topic is broached, and sometimes it makes things worse for awhile. Start slow, let me know individually what’s going on and then we will work on a plan to tell your partner safely. Disclosure is the better path in the long run.
What if we don’t get into the hard stuff in couples therapy? If you see that the real issues aren’t being talked about, either bring that up in session or reach out to me individually.
Will couples therapy make us worse? Things could get worse before they get better, especially if there’s a lot that hasn’t been talked about. AND it doesn’t necessarily follow that in the long term that therapy will make you worse. Short term discomfort for long term gain.
Will our therapist be fair to each of us? Will she take a side? It is never a couple’s therapist’s job to take sides. I’ve not yet seen a dynamic that’s one sided. Each part of the couple holds 100% responsibility.
I’m looking for therapy in San Francisco. How do I know if you are right for me? The most important factor in choosing is your sense of trust with the therapist. I know this is intuitive, but a sense of safety and being able to talk when therapy isn’t working is an essential part of finding the right therapist.
There are so many couples therapists in San Francisco! How do I choose? If you have a lot of experience in therapy, you might know which modality works for you In particular, with couples therapy be sure that the therapist specializes in couples. Timing is often key with couples, as coordinating three people’s schedules is more complicated than two. Many of my clients live or work near the San Francisco financial district, so therapy with me is a good fit. Most importantly you must both feel safe and agree as a couple on the person you choose.
What is psychotherapy? Psychotherapy 1. A treatment process to help people deal with psychological issues 2. (origins) Greek psyche “breath spirit soul” and therapeia “healing” “medical treatment”
Psychotherapy as I practice is the art and science of uncovering what we need to know and turning that into experiential change that influences your real life for the better.
Will individual psychotherapy help? Meta-analysis of hundred of studies on this over the years have come up with clear answers. There are consistent strong indicators that psychotherapy does help and at times has a result that is equal or greater than that from psychotropic medication. It has also been shown that the effectiveness has less to do with the type of psychotherapy and more to do with the quality of the relationship between therapist and client.
How long will couples therapy take? That depends on a few different factors. Have these painful patterns been going on for many years? Are either of you addicted to alcohol or substances? Have your fights gotten physical? Have you had an affair? Do either of you have trauma in your past? If you answer yes to any of these questions then the process could take longer.