I walked in, there were two women…
A woman therapist and a mixed gender couple. Does the guy feel outnumbered? My husband says the experience is beyond words. So, extrapolating from his experience and many male clients over the years, I know that sometimes this situation can feel…odd.
Will they throw me under the bus?
We all process differently, sometimes along gender lines, And in all honesty, there are things as a woman that I might not understand as well as a male therapist. Some clients have strong preferences for a male or female therapist because of this. When in couples therapy, if either one of you ever feels ganged up on or like the bad one, let the therapist know right away, it can be remedied. Speaking for myself, I always want to learn how to be a better therapist and finding out how I fall short is a step toward that.
I’ve seen over the years that what causes the most terror (male or female) happens when a couple is in a negative reactive emotional cycle and can’t stop spinning out. The escalations, the overwhelming emotion, who we become, IS terrifying. Couples therapy should feel like a safe haven for both of you.
Maybe we need another sign on the opposite side reading “He is beautiful and terrifying at the same time, like nature itself.”