Blog | Shana Ree Gann

Sexing and texting?

We could probably agree that the quality of conversations or sex decrease when accompanied by texting or checking emails. I'm not going out on a limb here right?! And, in the September 26 NYT article, "Stop Googling. Let's Talk." by Sherry Turkle, she eloquently...

The hardest part of my job

One of the most common things clients will say to me after an emotional session is: "This must be so hard for you, how do you do this all day?" As everyone does, I do of course have bad days and confusing moments; but what I do is more often than not very engaging...

A couples therapist sings the blues

Want to know how Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy works? Not up to reading a book on it? Do you like learning via you tube videos? Well this one if for you! [video width="640" height="360"...

We’re a bad habit I can’t break…

Change takes repetition. A recent study conducted by Phillippa Lally, health psychology researcher at University College London and published in the European Journal of Social Psychology has found that on AVERAGE a new behavior takes about 66 repetitions before it...

Why do you act like such a baby?

This Alexandr Milov sculpture from Burning Man 2015 has an answer. You can't quite see it in this picture, but the babies are holding hands. Enough said, art speaks for itself!

How do you fight?

Ever notice your fights have patterns? Here's an example of one: "He just clams up when we talk about hard stuff. It drives me crazy! I get so mad and end up slamming the door to the bedroom and stewing until he apologizes." Most couples fall into some kind of...

You know that really annoying thing your partner does?

It may be the thing you love most about him/her. It's funny how annoyance or frustration is a form of bonding - only realized as such when that annoying habit is gone. Even though this is a commercial, it speaks well to the imperfections in relationships. [video...

The worst part about couples therapy

I go to couples therapy too, and contrary to my husband's belief that as a therapist going to therapy is like candy for me (yum yum?), it can feel excruciating. Do I believe in therapy? - Yes! Do I love being a couples therapist? - Yes! I couldn't ask for a better...

Try this if you are addicted to… (fill in the blank)

I just watched Johann Hari do a TED talk "Everything you know about addiction is wrong." It gives us great information about how to stop addiction. He talks about the penal system we have created for addicts, and how that isn't effective. You know how it goes,...

Do you know what makes your partner feel loved?

Different acts make each of us feel loved. You might be killing yourself cleaning up around the house, when what actually makes him/her feel loved is a long hug. Take the test and find out if words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or...

Celebrate love

Go ahead, release some of the happy chemicals by watching our nation celebrate love.

What you could learn from an 11 year old’s mind

It IS a fictional Pixar character...but they are showing us a picture of a healthy psyche. The characters in the movie are the family and the emotions inside their minds. Riley (11 y/o) is the heroine and the one who must balance and mediate her emotions. Notice...

Marriage advice from 400 elders

1) Learn to communicate - talk, talk, talk! 2) Get to know your partner well before marrying 3) Treat marriage as an unbreakable lifelong commitment - stay when it's bad because you can come out with a fulfilling intact marriage 4) Learn to work as a team - treat...

Will couples therapy EVER be over?

I will never forget the delight on my husband's face when our couples therapist said: "There is a beginning, middle and end in couples therapy." And secretly, yes even as a therapist, I also felt relieved. It's nice to know that a process has tangible...

Want an alternative to therapy?

Try mindfulness. Dr Ahmed Mohammed describes it as a free, non-invasive yet proven way to decrease anxiety and depression. Ok, so obviously he's a fan of his research! A video following him around the research lab: [video width="640" height="360"...

The one thing that could decrease your anxiety and depression

This emotional clip - ah...thank you reality TV - shows a young woman and her parents struggling with anxiety and depression. The judge asks her how she overcame her condition to audition, to which she replies, therapy and her parents. The attachment between them is...

Remember closeness?

Together is almost always better than not, no matter the age or circumstance. Our bonds make us stronger. Here is a couples meditation I do with clients. Try this with your partner when you are starting to get disconnected or when you want to remember closeness....

Men Safe Area

Many therapists are women. So men coming into couples therapy can often wonder if they will be ganged up on. A strong foundation of my work is that in a couple the fault and the solution are equally shared. ...

Love Is…Messy

I do not know who originally wrote this, but I like that it paints the ups and downs of relationship - and that it's NORMAL - maybe even fabulous. Imagine if we learned this version versus the Harlequin romance one! "Dear Human: You've got it all wrong. You didn't...

I’m mean because I love you

This tune may get stuck in your head, so keep that in mind before you watch this one! It might seem crazy, but a common way some people try and pull their partner close is by expressing anger. It usually works in the opposite way (unfortunately), but often underneath...